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Last night I had a nervous breakdown....   
06:39pm 26/02/2004
mood: sad
Now when I thought about it some of the things I complained about to my best friend were very true to my heart.

THings like I want to be appreciated, not because I dress up and guys are horn dogs, but because someone truly appreciates me and my beauty. I would want someone to stand back every day no matter what I'm wearing and say "Wow! You are truly beautiful."

I am so tired of being me it's unbelievable and I'll rant more about it later
Just doing some quizzes....   
09:55am 24/02/2004
mood: awake
The Morrigu (or Morrigan) was a Celtic War Goddess
who delighted in setting men at war. She fought
in battles herself, and at times hovered like a
crow over the warring men. She was represented
as fully armed, carrying two spears in her
hand, and wherever there was war, she was
there. Her battle cry is said to be louder than
that of a thousand men. You are spiteful,
cruel, and dark. But those who befiend you are
on your good side for life.

What Celtic Goddess are You? (With pictures)
brought to you by Quizilla

(Unfortunately Imo there is no RHiannon I looked write her an email and flame her)

French Guard
I'm French! Why do think I have this outrageous
accent, you silly king-a?!

What Monty Python Character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

The French Yay!!! I am so totally the french! You stupid English Pig dogs.

You are Persphone-
You are Persephone, from "The Matrix."
Tough cookie, you are, yet there are strains of
sadness and desire that lie beneath you- of
course, you wouldn't want anyone to know.
You're too busy putting up a facade.

What Matrix Persona Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Persephone is awesome!!!! SHe's the kewlest.
Shay Stallworth....   
11:11am 19/02/2004
mood: bouncy
I never got to finish about Stallworth. SHe is a stupid fucking bitch. I'm extremely frustrated in my Social Psych class. SHe has no clue what the fuck she is teaching. SHe needs to either learn it or get over herself. I can read a book but I want something that isn't in the book. "What is a set of priciples?" HEr response to my question is, "Well it's a set of priciples..." Does that fucking answer my question? I don't think so. Stupid ass mother fucking peice of shit fuck faced instructor. I don't want to know what the book says I want to know what it means. It took me becoming a bitch and a student to get a good definition of what that was. Stupid fucking fuckers need to fucking learn how to fucking teach I'm not fucking paying to not be taught the fucking material!!!!!!!! Fuck the Fucking Fuckers!!!!!!!

The other whore I got over though so wahtever.

I got my new COmputer hey I got my new computer hey!!!!

I'm a happy camper this thing is wicked!!!!! I love it.

But the stupid fucks AKA Gateway sent me that unoredered chassis 2 1/2 weeks late. What stupid fucks!!!!

I get my hair done tommorow.

Ok I'm really flitty as of late I can't truly concentrate.
Gateway and stupid Teach....   
07:03pm 17/02/2004
mood: aggravated
I have something to say about both those subjects. Now I don't have time now but to tell you all the long and short of it, Stallworth stupid teacher needs to learn how to teach, Gateway Rep Blake, incompetent bastard that needs to lose his sales rap on the students and then talk to me, You were never emotionally there for me my friend.
The strss of being a Sister and a good person.....   
12:23am 13/02/2004
mood: crappy
Today I had a decent day at school. Dave pissed me off bt that's beside the point.

I go to work. Mind you I like the rest of the world Hate work but today was not a bad day at work (I think I scared people because I was wearing dark lipstick and black eyeliner( but the problem was at home while I was at work when I couldn't deal with it.

My brother Cj once again got frustrated with Kyle and then put a hole in tge wakk umagine my stress at work since it happened while we were busy and I was trying to decide punishments.

I hate my life.

I came home tonight and it was slent in my house. Everyone was in bed and all I could here was the steady screaming of silence in my ears. I like it. I want more of it. Silence no parents no brothers no anything. I can't wait till I move in with a person that understand the want and need to be silent..

I'm still on my depressive no boyfriend trip (happens about this time in the year and around my Birthday)

SAD Day slowly approaches and yet another year passes with no boyfriend. Year number 19 how many more do I have to go.

Frankly I feel like I have to jump into the middle of traffic and say "I WANT A BOYFRIEND" and perhaps the man that hits me should be that one. Lke is not a dream and it sucks.

I miss it when I didn't worry about, "Will I get married?" back in the day when I didn't care. Now I care and feel like I'm going to be old when I have children and I don't want to be old.

I think I should just come out and say it. I must admit it to just about anyone willing to listen. I am Horny. It just is a fact. I think that when I get some finally that man is goin to have to be up with me for a lot longer than he will expect. A lot longer in my opinion.

Well that's it for today.

Coined Phrases today:

"I think that fight beat the drunk out of me."

"If more than one evil idiot bent on taking over the world thought it up it'[s preobably a bad idea"
Just stressing....   
05:24pm 11/02/2004
mood: stressed
My head hurts and I'm almost finished with policies class and Oral Comm.

I feel more agravated. I do think I should get laid or something but I want to be careful about that. I really do want it to be with someone I at least respect and someone perferably either willing to teach or just as inexpierienced as me. But of course that's just me.

Dave was being violent today. I am playful when I want to be but he gave me a red belly and it hurt. Same with my arm! Grrrr..........

I need to find a way to express myself better. I think I need to get my hair done (I'm not saying how till I get it done) and get a camera that has a timer so I can take pictures of myself in ways that I would like to. I wish I had more pictures of myself. Random ones, ones that I pose for, ones of my friends, ones of Pirates and many more. It's a difficult thing to bring myself to pictures because of my self esteem but when I look at myself in the mirror I'm happy with myself whether anyone else is or not is what depresses me. I think I'm quite pretty but I've been told I'm intimidating because I'm tall and pretty. I really couldn't tell you how others think but I can tell you I think I am very pretty. I love to look at myself in the mirror and when I think about how guys think of me I think they only think of me as a peice of Ass and not a person that can be serious or true.

I heard that by the way I look and dress that most people see me as a slut and someone that couldn't hold down a boyfriend or doesn't want one.

I feel personally I'm never going to be in a serious relationship which means I will never get married and have the one or two kids I want.

Life stinks when people like me rain on our own parade.
02:36pm 10/02/2004
mood: gloomy
Lately I have wanted to crawl into a hole and just die. I feel like shit on a regular basis. I feel ignored and put upon. I really feel that if I don't break free of whatever is holding me back in any way, whether it be mentally, physically or even sexually, I'm going to tear myself inside out and just die. I feel pent up and restrained.

Maybe it's from living at home for so long or whatever I just don't know.

Beyond that I feel creatively restrained. I don't feel inspired to write but in the back of my head I feel like if I don't I'll explode. ANd it's not write about me or my feelings or even papers for school, it's creatively write stories. I've been writing more stories than anything else and it's just not as fulfilling as at least a 15 page short story that you could possibly expand on later.

Frustration peaks inside the mind of a mad woman.

I sit up late at night and cry because My head hurts and the pain at the frustration in myseld and at myself. I don't feel happy with myself.

The famous phrase: "You must love yourself to be loved."

I just can't bring myself to love me. I was poisoned as a child and now I can't look at myself in the mirror without thinking, 'Oh she's pretty but sure can be prettier', or when I speak I can never say anything nice about myself. I don't even think I'm very intellectual no matter how hard I try to be. I guess I'm the true vision of a wanna be. I wanna be perfect.

The peace of an angry person only comes in death.

I feel so alone on the edge of this cliff that stands upon the end of the world. I fight to see whether I should throw myself off and put myself out of everyone elses misery or if I should turn around and try and go back to the land of the forgotten travellers where no one cares but everyones 'happy'.
     Read 2 - Post
The art for my pictures.....   
10:19am 07/02/2004
mood: Smart
The pictures that I use as my icons are located at This address and they are all inside of that art gallery.

The artists name is Sandrine Gestin and I love her artwork!
I have the Best, ABSOLUTELY BEST, best friend in the whole wide world!!!!!!!!!   
06:10pm 06/02/2004
mood: ecstatic
My best friend sent me a package that I had to swear not to open it till I was on the phone with her so she could hear my reactions, since unfortunately she can't be here at the same time as me. So I did and OMG!!!!!!!!! I love the stuff she sent me.

You know your sister loves you when she makes you a pirate medallion necklace, gets you a picture of a woman that looks and acts like you with a spider tattoo on the arm, gets you a good pirate book based on a true story, a journal and pastes an Aztec necklace onto it for your pirate fantasies and sends you a copy of her Chicago CD that you so love!!!! And mine did and I burst inside.

I'm wearing my pirate necklace starting to read my book and just imagining what I'll be writing in it tonight.

I love my best friend!!! *internet huggles*

To Chris-I do not have the link here at school for the Site I will have to give you it later tonight and you'll be able to have it tommorow. Gestine art is awesome.

Well that's all I want to Huzzah about tonight. Goodnight everyone.

*Dances in the background about pirate stuff and all the things she'll do with it*
I'm not nor will I ever be.....   
06:59pm 05/02/2004
mood: angry

I find myself a very intelligent person when I want to be. I can be really ditzie but that's from years of thickheadedness and temper tantrums. I can not stand those who walk into a place of working enviorment and immediately think that every person that works there is incompetent. I can stand the rude people and the stupid people but those who are rude and try and make me feel stupid boil my blood worse than any other Customer.

Wondering why I'm screaming about that?

Well today I was at Kinko's for work para usual. A person got onto a copy machine that rarely does cardstock correctly and normally jams inside of the machine. Ok no big deal. I take them to a different machine and she rudely says to her husband behind my back as if I were too thick to understand how quickly she spoke that I needed to set it up in this way. Now plenty of offense is meant by this, I am a human and if you can't talk to me please shoot yourself because I am the most easy to get along with unless you absolutely annoy the fuck out of me person in the world. I set it up properly did a test and it came out incorrectly. THe lady continued to be rude and walk away constantly leaving me to talk to her nicer husband.

I wanted to turn around and be very rude about the way she treated me but I gritted my teeth and let her continue to do it. I may be working at a place that looks like it requires no education but I'm not stupid. I will never be stupid. And I am actually quite effecient at my job no matter how low most people think of it at least I have and can hold one!


Ok now I feel better thank you!
     Read 2 - Post
Some more tests....   
09:28pm 04/02/2004
mood: blah
You are Form 5, Dragon: The Weaver.

"And The Dragon seperated the virtuous from
the sinful. He tore his eyes from his sockets
and used them to peer into the souls of those
on trial to make a judgement. He knew that
with endless knowledge came endless

Some examples of the Dragon Form are Athena
(Greek), St. Peter (Christian), and Surya
The Dragon is associated with the concept of
intelligence, the number 5, and the element of
His sign is the crescent moon.

As a member of Form 5, you are an intelligent and
wise individual. You weigh options by looking
at how logical they are and you know that while
there may not always be a right or wrong
choice, there is always a logical one. People
may say you are too indecisive, but it's only
because you want to do what's right. Dragons
are the best friends to have because they're
willing to learn.

Which Mythological Form Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

You are Form 6, Elfin: The Wyld.

"And The Elfin saw the evil and
misjudgement in the world and shot her arrow at
the sky. Bolts of lightning struck the earth
and gave the world balance and

Some examples of the Elfin Form are Demeter (Greek)
and Khepry (Egyptian).
The Elfin is associated with the concept of growth
and balance, the number 6, and the element of
Her sign is the half moon.

As a member of Form 6, you are a very balanced
individual. You can easily adapt to most
situations and you may be a good social
chameleon. You aren't afraid of changes in
your life, but sometimes you evolve too
rapidly, leaving others to think that you are
leaving them behind. Elfin are the best
friends to have because they are open minded.

Which Mythological Form Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

You are a Khaos angel. You are different from all
the rest. You are a special breed of angel,
prone to suffer in the world that you are in
now. No matter how much you try to believe that
your not special, you are. There is alot that
you want to do in this world. Khaos angels are
very dramatic, we tend to have the ability to
cheer people up no matter what the mood, and
hold in your emotions. You should be proud,
Khaos angels are very rare to find in this
world of ours...

What Different Kind of Angel are you...? ( Anime-ish pics )
brought to you by Quizilla

Hell YEah. I'm a CHaos

You are a Twisted Angel. You are a strange one.
Your path is unclear, and you often do strange
things for the fun of it. No one can really
discribe you, you are just too odd.

What Different Kind of Angel are you...? ( Anime-ish pics )
brought to you by Quizilla
A mini good rant.   
03:06pm 04/02/2004
mood: horny
Ok I will now say that Gateway is not the worst company in the world. My Gateway Rep for my School, Blake, got me a new computer which arrives next week. And on top of that since I was so unhappy about it he went above and beyond and got me the newer model even. Huzzah to that Blake. THank you!

I was writing today and came up with a good poem. I really having a writing itch but can't seem to find the words that I want to put down on paper (or type) and it's really bugging me right now. I want to write, it's in my blood to write (not nessicarily well since most of you have seen my atrocious spelling and grammar) but I love to write. Please Goddess give me the words to write a story longer than a paragraph before I lose all inspirational words.

It's not fun being a writer with the inspiration, the motivation but not the words. I get up every morning and want to write but I just can't find the correct words to be able to succeed in such a mission.

Also today Dave said that I'm a good girl and I want to say I am getting SO tired of that phrase being used in my general direction.

First off: Have you seen the way I dress? I obviously can't be that good or I wouldn't dress as I do.

Second: The only reason why I'm a good girl, as you so gallantly put it, is because of people like you. See it like it but won't try it. Damnnit it's not for lack of trying. It's for lack of interest. No one likes me in that way I guess. I'm not that terrifying am I? I'm pretty but not that pretty!

Thirdly: I can only be a good girl till I'm corrupted right? Well yeah that's true but I can't seem to get corrupted because to everyone I'm too good a girl. THey don't want to spoil something so unspoiled.

Finally: So it's not for lack of trying that I seem to be this good girl that everyone talks about. It's for lack of childhood I guess. Since I was good in High School I'll be branded that way for the rest of my life. *a large sign stamped on forehead saying: Untouchable! Pure for too long!*
     Read 6 - Post
More bored Shit.....   
11:09pm 03/02/2004
mood: bored
You're Perfect ^^
-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.

What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

If I'd ever get one I'd supposedly be... A perfect G/F


?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

The God of Sleep
     Read 8 - Post
11:05pm 03/02/2004
mood: amused
Barbie Got Back
Barbie Got Back! Go you! You're the closest thing
ever to a true black Barbie. Shake that fat
ass of yours.

If You Were A Barbie, Which Messed Up Version Would You Be?
brought to you by Quizilla
Just a typing.....   
10:32pm 03/02/2004
mood: jealous
My best friend has a website that she just created for any of you who care. It's located at Annwnlost.net and is quite interesting. For any of you who wish to please sign her guestbook (or dreambook) and join out little message board community to get to know us a little better.

I am quite happy to say that I get my new laptop next week.

I have a little girl that looks up to me right now. Her name is Nadine, she is quite sweet and is 12. She's very nice and I'd love to introduce her to anyone but Dave. (Just kidding Dave you know I love you)

I am unsure if I stated this in a previous post but my Cat Gandalf was attacked by a dog for the time that it got out of my house. From the look of it (being that it has a few punture wounds outside of the 2 inch hole) the dog almost got a hold of him then finally caught loose skin and tore it off. Right now he's a grouchy cat with stiches on his bald ass.

I once again have a ramble about love and looks.

I am a pretty person, from my perspective, but I have this thought about my low self esteem.

I was overweight and underheight in highschool and even the ugly people (only in my perspective) got dates but me a pretty normal slightly overweight girl had not even one person display interest into me. Now that I have graduated High school and grew taller and lost a little weight I'm much more attractive. Most guys know that I love to show it off because now that I have it why not. I don't have large breasts but I have a large ass (which makes it proportionate) and a thin waist (at 22 inches around). But I had always imagined having multiple boyfriends in highschool and at least one serious relationship by this time (serious relationship I mean something that would last over a year). I always imagined being married sometime in life but slowly and surely that dream of ever getting married fades from view.

I wish that someone (other than Dave) would show interest in me. I am scared of that Mexican guy though. I am just a hopeless Romantic. I want to be swept off me feet.

Right now I think that my depression about being single will be only getting worse till after Valentines day. I feel so helpless on that day since I never feel special like I've seen some girls feel. But I guess that's just me.
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I think this explains what I say Dave....   
08:43pm 01/02/2004
mood: confused
Your wings are BROKEN and tattered. You are
an angelic spirit who has fallen from grace for
one reason or another - possibly, you made one
tragic mistake that cost you everything. Or
maybe you were blamed for a crime you didn't
commit. In any case, you are faithless and
joyless. You find no happiness, love, or
acceptance in your love or in yourself. Most
days are a burden and you wonder when the
hurting will end. Sweet, beautiful and
sorrowful, you paint a tragic and touching
picture. You are the one that few understand.
Those that do know you are likely to love you
deeply and wish that they could do something to
ease your pain. You are constantly living in
memories of better times and a better world.
You are hard on yourself and self-critical or
self-loathing. Feeling rejected and unloved,
you are sensitive, caring, deep, and despite
your tainted nature, your soul is
breathtakingly beautiful.

*~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
brought to you by Quizilla

Everytime I say I'm ugly Perhaps this helps in the way I feel. It's not totally politically correct but you can imagine.
     Read 8 - Post
At work being bored.....   
03:04pm 31/01/2004
mood: bored
Your Sexual Profile (you sexual deviant you...) by sparkledee
Your Secret Kink ThingWhips.
Your Sexual StrengthSweet and gentle...
Your Sexual WeaknessYou're scared of butt plugs.
Your Likely STDGonorrhea
How Many Partners in Crime?Oh you? A few along the way..
Created with quill18's MemeGen 2.0!

Whips Kinky..... Buttplugs? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Your Sexual Profile (you sexual deviant you...) by sparkledee
Your Secret Kink ThingYou like to play dead.
Your Sexual StrengthYour hot-tub antics..
Your Sexual WeaknessYou're terrified of penises.
Your Likely STDYou've every STD known to man
How Many Partners in Crime?We all know you're a slut.
Created with quill18's MemeGen 2.0!

I guess I can't screw men then....

Your Sexual Profile (you sexual deviant you...) by sparkledee
Your Secret Kink ThingA thing for nipple clamps.
Your Sexual StrengthYour amazing tongue!!
Your Sexual WeaknessVibrators intimidate you.
Your Likely STDYou won't get tested. SLUT!!
How Many Partners in Crime?None. haha. Poor you.
Created with quill18's MemeGen 2.0!

Oh yeah women love me for that tongue too.

Your Moulin Rouge Status: by pinkrobelover
Your Name:
Your deepest secret:Nicole Kidman kissed you once
The Bohemian Ideal You hold true to most is:Beauty
Your Job at the Moulin Rouge:Can-Can instructor
What the customers think:You're quite the seductive little wench.
Favorite Quote:"The Greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return."
Created with quill18's MemeGen 2.0!

I love the can-can Instructor. I think s/he's hilarious!

Your Moulin Rouge Status: by pinkrobelover
Your Name:
Your deepest secret:Even the fat one wouldn't have you.
The Bohemian Ideal You hold true to most is:Love
Your Job at the Moulin Rouge:Exotic Dancer
What the customers think:You're kinky
Favorite Quote:"Outside it may be raining, but in here it's entertaining!"
Created with quill18's MemeGen 2.0!

Hell yeah an Exoctic dancer......

Your Moulin Rouge Status: by pinkrobelover
Your Name:
Your deepest secret:You shot the green fairy
The Bohemian Ideal You hold true to most is:Beauty
Your Job at the Moulin Rouge:Snake charmer
What the customers think:You aren't worth the price
Favorite Quote:"All you need is love!"
Created with quill18's MemeGen 2.0!

But I like the green Fairy!!!!! I must have been drunk!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

What Are You Most Likely to Utter During Sex by UMAJohnnie
Most Likely to Say"Your ears are made of jam."
Created with quill18's MemeGen 2.0!

We'll leave that up to your opinion....

What Are You Most Likely to Utter During Sex by UMAJohnnie
Most Likely to Say"Wait, where do you want to put that?"
Created with quill18's MemeGen 2.0!

Yeah same question DAVE!!!!

The World Is MINE! by Demonac
You will conquer:the Entire World, except Antartica (those Penguin Guerrillas prove impossible to dislodge).
Your title will be:Supreme Chancellor
You will succeed by:Celestial Lottery.
Your Enforcers will be:Conan Obrien's hair.
Your first act as ruler:Ban any movie with Dog/Ape/Boobs/Party/Dumb/Dude/Cat/Punk/Ernest/Twin/Titanic or Adventure in the name.
Created with quill18's MemeGen 2.0!

Don't forget Orlando Bloom......

The World Is MINE! by Demonac
You will conquer:the Moon. Beat that.
Your title will be:Primogen
You will succeed by:Getting your boss elected (then killing him for carreer advancement).
Your Enforcers will be:The Ghost of Strom Thurman (that guy was scary).
Your first act as ruler:Hire a six-year-old to advise you. Any plan that a six-year-old can see the flaws in should be avoided at all costs.
Created with quill18's MemeGen 2.0!

Six year olds are the most intelligent beings on earth....

The World Is MINE! by Demonac
You will conquer:the United States of America (except for Texas).
Your title will be:Architect
You will succeed by:Creating your own religion and convincing your followers to suicide bomb strategic targets.
Your Enforcers will be:Greenpeace (they may not be tough... or do ANYTHING... but at least they are expendible).
Your first act as ruler:Make it illegal to say your name without using your title.
Created with quill18's MemeGen 2.0!

That's Arcitect Mars to you!!!!

Faerie Type 1.0 by bittervelvet
Favorite Color
Astrological Sign
Faerie TypeFaerie Prince
Faerie Lookwhite with pink fluffy wings
Faerie Poweryou talk with the birds
Created with quill18's MemeGen 2.0!

A male with pink fluffy wings????? Right!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Faerie Type 1.0 by bittervelvet
Favorite Color
Astrological Sign
Faerie TypeAged Faerie of Wisdom
Faerie Lookgreen with rose petal wings
Faerie Poweryou guard treasure
Created with quill18's MemeGen 2.0!

Treasure??? Where??????? *WHole piles of treasure behind her as she looks under them to find it*

Faerie Type 1.0 by bittervelvet
Favorite Color
Astrological Sign
Faerie TypePixie
Faerie Looksmall, green and wingless
Faerie Poweryou tell lies
Created with quill18's MemeGen 2.0!

Hey my pants aren't on fire *as the legs hairs slowly singe off*
     Read 2 - Post
Never buy a gateway.......   
06:34pm 29/01/2004
mood: pissed off
I am a very patient person when it comes to talking to someone in customer service because personally I've been on the recieving end. I really hate being yelled at when it truly isn't my fault but I also hate just as much not being respected even if it is over the phone.

Now I would have, about 2 weeks ago, told you that Gateway wasn't that bad of a company even though 1 out of every 2 of their components die on you and that they have really nice people in their IT staff to help you figure out your problem. Well As of yesterday that was completely changed. I will never recomend anyone to buy a gateway unless you have a go through guy like I have.

I will also tell you, that even though I would have orginally told you that they had great customer service they really never had it. They are rude to you on the phone even if you are being patient and calm. Even third teir (which are supposed to be the top notch nerds of the field at Gateway) treat you like you don't even know how to turn on your computer, though if they notice I would not be at third teir if I did not know what I was talking about. I guess the guys at school are right about the fact that they can just read the screen better. They always act like "Oh my God another stupid customer, zone them out and simply fix their problem." I feel so zoned out on the phone with them.

To add insult to injury I talked to a rep exactly two weeks ago yesterday and told him I had the same problem with my screen (depixelization all the way across sometimes to the point that I can't even read what's there) the gentlemen told me, "No problem I'll order you a new chasse right now." Bullshit! I called them up last night and this was what happened.......

First They couldn't find me under my phone number which I know that I asked them to put myself and my stepdad on two different accounts under the same number. Then, they couldn't find me under my computers Serial number, they could only find my school, then they finally find me under an old ass service request number half an hour later.

So ok I'm still calm at this point but the temperature is rising. So they look at my information and lo and behold the gentlemen that swore he would have that ordered for me didn't order it for me. The only replacment part that had been ordered was the one from December, the one that is on my computer now, the one that is broken. So ok I'm just about ready to explode and I calmly explain to the lady that I needed this for school and I can't wait another 2 weeks for a new chasse. The only response to this was I have to send you to tech support and you have to talk to them there to be able to do anything. Last time I was on the phone with tech support I was on the phone for three hours so when she transfers me I hang up.

Now I'm in tears in frustration and it's that time of the month. So instead of sitting on my ass and crying I call my School's Representitive to Gateway. I leave a message and wait about an hour before calling him back and actually getting a hold of him.

Reps for people like me, no offense to anyone that is one, when you say jump they say How high and off of what cliff. So I told him my sob story, he knows it's for school and it's quite difficult to get anything done without it. So he gets off the phone with me in 30 minutes to call and talk to his people. He calls me back 20 minutes later saying, "I'm getting you a new laptop." No questions asked, he's going to get me a new laptop.

I of course hope it's the 17 inch screen with the ten key but it's a fools hope!

So never buy a Gateway if you can avoid it (of course I couldn't have avoided it)

I may add more to this rant later tonight. But for now back to work.
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Today is a bore......   
09:18am 28/01/2004
mood: bored
I now officially have a new scimitar that one of my instructors gave to me for free.

Dave today is being worse than normal because I said that I am willing to screw a chic someday. I mean Geeze Angelina Jolie is on my list of five celebraties I would screw. If you want to get technical what do you expect. I have all brothers I hang out with guys and so what in the world am I going to think of when I see a chic?

Nice ass. Nice Jugs. Or Great Bod.

I find that women are hot, whether I'm lesbian or not I think that I could still be debating because of where I'm going to school but I do not question that I have a yearn for men and will never be satisfied with a woman. Women are more comfortable to talk to but I've always wanted the strength (the figmentitive strength) of a man and their warmth. I've had dreams of being held, when I'm cold, to be able to get warm by the mans body heat, melt into his warmth and strength. But I guess that's just me.

I did make a suggestion to become a Pornstar though, change my name. But that would be a lowly life in my belief, it's the cheap way out of getting a real job.

I plan to play Serios Sam tonight with my new mouse and then study for my test. I really wish I could make a decent medieval dress to wear or get a nice outfit from Ren Fest for a decent price. Personally if someone would buy me something like that, erotic or not (just as long as it's not too eroctic like barely esisting), I would wear it. I really want a leather bodice from Ren Fest and a Romanticezed Gypsy Costume but I'll never have the money for it. Hmph! Someday I will when I'm too old to look good in it.

I wish I could talk to someone like Imorowen around here because I'm bored and I feel really lonely. I always feel like I'll have a nervous breakdown sometimes. I feel so emotionally and physically bottled up. I rarely get to do anything or go anywhere other than School and Work and it's worn on me to the point that I want to crawl into a cave and die.
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07:20pm 26/01/2004
mood: blank
I haven't updated in about a week and a lot has happened. I got to go and stay at a LAN party on Saturday night for longer than an hour which made me happy. I am now officially addicted to Serious Sam. Very fun game for those of you who haven't played it, lots of blood and guts.

I have found out that what I heard about my 6 month long crush is true. My sweetest man on earth is moving back to Tennessee. I feel bad that he is leaving and we got no where but I feel like perhaps it was for the best since according to who I spoke to about it, it would never go anywhere anyways.

I began to work on yet another RP and have yet to finish this one in a day because I must pester my brother for things in it since I gave him all the ideas and forgot them myself. What a good writer I am huh? Giving out my ideas before I Copyright them.

Well since I'm only on break at work I won't babble too long since I can do that later tonight but I thought I'd at least give you guys the run down and I'll go in more depth later.
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